Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
