ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
