we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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