remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
