Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
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