He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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