Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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