Me too!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
