Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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