Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I cockslap morals
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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