Just cropdusted the office
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
