matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
