You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize