Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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