So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize