I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
