but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
don't judge my taste in strippers
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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