he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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