I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
This girl is more easily done than said...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
