I need help removing her.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
