Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
