Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
