i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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