oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
