sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
