Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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