do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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