There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
