i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
