Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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