I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
