Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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