someone get that fucking seahorse.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
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