He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
