You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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