Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Mom said you looked used
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
