I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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