these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
