It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
