I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize