u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
The air was thick with penises
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
