Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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