Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize