my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
It's not a walk of shame if you run
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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