so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
