i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
