Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
