what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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