O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
