Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
