i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
