Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
