Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
