WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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