i cant cry in cvs. not again.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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