I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
