paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
the day after is always just damage control
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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