its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
