i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
