You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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