What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Green mimosas i think yes
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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