Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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