i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
