The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you would pick up someone in the library
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
