Your face is a jimmy john
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
